Tomboy Rants: High-Low, Why?

Can't even see the hi-low hem on this one right away until you look closely.That's why the model has her hip thrown out like that. To hide her shame.Shame, Gap. Shame.

It seems like every promising sweater or even some basic T-shirts is falling prey to this ridiculous, unflattering trend. When it showed up a couple of years ago, I thought there was no way something this unflattering to something like nearly everybody would stick around.

Well, I'm not right about everything.

What's a high-low hem, you ask?

It's a hem like in the photo above, where the back of the shirt is a few inches longer than the front, also known by those of us who were snorting in disgust before the trend ever began as "mullet hem". This is an idea that mostly looks good on little kids or toddlers, whose bodies are still naturally fairly wiry and lanky. I have seen six year olds rock a high-low hem like nobody's business.

Unfortunately, they insist on making these shirts and dresses for adults.

The problem with high-low sweaters and shirts being all over the place?

I have boobs.

I know, I know; it's simply shocking that a woman might have something happening on her chest, and no fashion designers ever feel like they should plan for it. Instead, they primarily design shirts that only work if you're flat-chested, stick-thin, and have no hips. So if you fit all three of those categories and you are also 5'10", well, these designers are here for you!

If you're the other 96% of womankind, um, sorry.

The fashion designers didn't know people like you needed clothes that don't make you look like a lumpy potato! Whoops!

That's why I hate high-low hems. They ruin otherwise perfectly beautiful shirts, and they are basically taking over Loft, which has been one of my favorite places to get good basics. I can't trust Loft's basics any longer, though, because even your average T-shirt is liable to have been hit with a side-split high-low hem like this:

I'm so disappointed in you, Loft.I want to love you!Let me love you!

I love that T-shirt design. I WANT that T-shirt design. I want that Murky Blue color they have available on the website in my life. But high-low is just not going to work. Because I have a chest, it makes the front part of the hem ride even "higher", and trust me, nobody wants me flashin' belly at this juncture in my life. Unless you want me to go into a rant about how that whole "prevent stretch marks with moisturizer/coconut oil/cocoa butter" is a scam and whether or not you get stretch marks is basically genetic, so stop being so smug you moms in bikinis. Then the "low" part - which is meant to actually be, y'know, low - just ends up being the length the whole damn shirt should have been in the first place. They advertise it as a "low" hem, and it will still barely clear my hips!

And I'm supposed to think this is attractive!

And spend money to wear things that look like that!

Basically, Katie Angry, Katie Smash.

Katie Want Normal Hems to Be Trendy Again.

Et tu, Boden?

Do you have a "fashion trend" you feel is either awful for you or just sticking around way longer than it should? Would you like to rant with me about how stupid high-low hems on T-shirts are? Please, comment! I love rants! Rant with me! Join my angry club of women with boobs! Or without boobs! The angry club accepts all.

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These Are Not Gray Pants

Ten years ago, you could not have paid me to step foot into Gap or Old Navy to actually shop for anything. I went in occasionally with my family or friends, but I just wasn't interested in what they had to offer - everything seemed to be branded with logos, and I am a staunch believer in not giving a company my money in order to be a walking billboard for them. If I'm going to advertise a company by blaring their logo across my clothing, they had best be paying me for the privilege.

Well, I still feel that way.

Somewhere along the way, though, my passionate hatred of Gap and Old Navy faded and was replaced by me finding the occasional things I really like about them.

It's a pretty recent development - this post here over on the personal blog was the first time I had worn a Gap shirt in a very, very long time. And I've been adding Old Navy jeans to my closet here and there for a while as well. Then, I had a baby, and discovered the BabyGap is one of the few places that sells a decent amount of non-pink clothing for girls.

Gap, and Old Navy both have a serious length problem - I can tell they're mostly selling to teenagers and skinny college girls, because they just crank out the cropped tops like an assembly line on cocaine. Shirts are never long enough, and if they are, they're poor quality material that shrinks after one wash. Old Navy's exception to this rule is in their tank tops and camis, which I find hilarious - why would you make a tank clearly meant to be worn under your other shirts longer than the shirts it's meant to be worn with?

I'm obviously not the business genius that those running Gap and Old Navy are.

In any case, the tops just aren't long enough, on average, which means that when I do shop there I primarily shop online, allowing me to troll the 'tall' section to see if they have anything I like in a length that won't have me flashing belly every time I have to grab something off a shelf.

This stripe-sleeved top did the trick.

I won't lie - I mostly ordered this shirt in order to get to Gap's $50 limit to get free shipping. I had ordered a couple of things for the baby, and I hate paying for shipping if I don't have to. At worse, I throw something I'm not sure about in the cart and then return it later, right?

I figured this would be one of those shirts. The high boatneck and flat color on the body could easily make me look like a mack truck coming and going. I gave it a shot anyway, just to see.

Turns out, I love it.

I love the slightly faded darker blue color and that the shirt ends up emphasizing that my waist is narrow when compared to my hips, instead of flattening me out like I thought it would. I love that ordering it in the tall means the sleeves go past my hands and the hem is below my hips.

My only issue is that the thin cotton, while soft, is not terribly forgiving on a stomach that is still showing the after-effects of baby-havin'.

Ah well.

I love it anyway.

These are not gray pants.

But Katie! I hear you saying. They are clearly charcoal gray!

Nope.

When I bought them? They were flat black. I bought this pair because I wanted (and still want) black jeans, and couldn't find any at the time that weren't skinnies that were nothing less than terribly uncomfortable. Old Navy had these pants on offer - not jeans, but comfortable and a dressy black appropriate for a business casual workplace like the museum I used to work at.

Then I washed them twice, and now they're charcoal gray.

I keep wearing them because I just like them that much, but would still like a pair of inexpensive black jeans, NOT skinny jeans, to wear with shirts like this. Do you guys have any advice on that? They need to go into the lower plus-sizes.

I can't say I didn't get my money's worth, though, since I bought them on sale three years ago and I'm still wearing them pretty consistently.

I just wish they had stayed black longer than two months.

This necklace is a Christmas gift from my mother-in-law, kind of in honor of having had Audra last year. I wear it all the time. It's pretty funny, because I tend to buy large, clunky, insanely colorful necklaces but I love simple things like that that you can wear with anything and everything.

I have this, and a pretty starfish necklace (seen in the earlier link to the Gap T-shirt post from the other blog), and those are my two simplest wear-with-anything pieces of jewelry.

Well.

Um.

Other than my, uh, wedding band.



Outfit Details
Striped boatneck tee - Gap, available here.
Black pants - Old Navy, similar here
Shoes - Skechers at JCPenney, similar here
Necklace - Christmas gift from my mother-in-law





P.S. Please forgive the wonky lighting/focus issues. It's super gray, rainy, and dreary here today and I really did the best I could with what 5:45 pm light could offer me.






P.P.S. Today on the personal blog? I tell you a little story about my drive to work on Monday, and it's at least a little bit funny if I do say so myself. Check it out!

Tomboy Brands: SmartWool

Yeah, yeah, I know. I started a blog and then went a week without posting on it. Well, it was kind of one of those times where for part of the week I had the time but no motivation and then over the weekend I had all the motivation but no time. Or good weather, since the only day I had both it rained all day. Pffffft on that.

So I thought I'd take a moment to talk about socks, because that's totally a super interesting topic you've all been waiting to hear about.

One thing you're going to see a lot of on this blog is SmartWool.

I was introduced to SmartWool by my friends Stevie and Jason years and years ago when we lived in southern Illinois. What Stevie mentioned only in passing, but that is a serious truth and a warning everyone should be given, is that they're basically the heroin of the sock world. One pair is not enough, you will keep finding ways to buy more.

They're sweat-wicking, warm wool socks that come in about ten million awesome color combinations. They're pricey for a pair of socks, running from around $14 to over $20 per pair depending on what design you get and how tall they are. I try to find them on sale when I can, and have received them as gifts for just about every holiday imaginable.

Yes, I actually ask to receive socks on holidays.

And I am the happiest when I do.

My mother, who understands my addiction (we share a different addiction to coffee, which I would blame on her except for the part where I totally started drinking coffee as a teenager long before Starbucks ever reared its green head in our little Illinois city) even bought my baby her own first pairs of SmartWool socks.

She has outgrown those, and I sniffle a little bit when I look at them. I am part of the Mommy Economy, as I call it, passing around hand-me-down clothing as Audra Grace outgrows hers to other moms of little ones.

The baby SmartWool socks, though? They're not going in the pass-around pile. We're making sure we have those for Baby 2 no matter what.

I wear SmartWool all the time, probably wear them four or five days a week, with the other couple of days being dedicated to a similar brand called Solemates. Basically, I have made it a principled stand to never wear plain socks, because apparently that is what I have decided I care about.

That and trying to convince more retailers to make T-shirt sleeves longer, because who on God's green earth ever actually thought cap sleeves were flattering?

Our local Mast General store here in my city has SmartWool regularly on buy 3, get the 4th free so if I ever have the money to spend I go pick through to find my favorites. I pick them up at REI, Duluth Trading Company (you'll see that name again, I promise), and just about anywhere else I can find them.

I often suggest them when anyone asks me what I might like in a present.

Is it weird to like socks this much?

Okay, it totally is.

But there is nothing as warm in the dead of winter as a pair of SmartWool's thicker socks, like the Jovian Stripe socks. I take them with me for long hikes, wear them to work, just wear them all the time.

It's a fun way to put a little color into an otherwise all-neutrals outfit - even if I'm the only one who notices.